Since Peyton was very little, I have always known that she is a lot like me. Maybe a little more stubborn at times. Maybe, okay, definitely more social. But, in terms of the way we process information, explain information, and our preferences, we are very similar. We both possess many first-kid characteristics. This also means I see in her a lot of the shortcomings & negative tendencies I see in myself. It is hard enough trying to work those things out in your own life over 30 years, but then to see them playing out in the life of your daughter is CRAZY difficult. I want to be able to fix some of them now for her so that she doesn't encounter the same struggles as me. But, I also know that so much of that has made me who I am today. But, as a mom, sometimes my heart just hurts for her.
Yesterday, she wanted me to do something for her. It is something I know she can do. And, it is something I know she is only going to get better at doing by practicing. But, her fear of it not being perfect & of her own failure kept her from even trying. She is a totally different kid in different situations depending on whether or not she has confidence. I want to encourage her to fight through her desire for perfection. I want her to understand that we are all going to fail, that we are all going to fall short of expectations. But, at the same time, I love that I still have high expectations, that I despise settling for mediocrity--so I don't want to squash that in her! So, as I am on this journey of motherhood, I am learning even more about myself--about how vulnerable I am, about how much grace covers me, and about how God created me. I am praying that I am able to encourage my children, teach them truth, point them to Jesus, and help them feel confident in who Jesus created them to be. I want to help them grow in their strengths, recognize their weaknesses, and encourage them to pursue holiness while helping them accept grace.
I know this journey is just beginning for us! I know it is going to be a different experience with each child & each circumstance that arises. I am praying that God would fill me with His wisdom & His grace EACH day!
Oh Beth ... I feel all your words! Keep up the good work. Do your best, say your sorry, pray daily that you will both see yourselves as God does - good and bad - and then just rest in His grace. As parents, we live as authentically and intentionally as we can, then we realize that all the rest is God's deal. :) and that's when we trust and say 'OK, Lord, I know you got this." Oh, and it helps that they have such a great Daddy too!
Posted by: Melodye Reeves | 17 May 2012 at 09:49 AM
Thanks, Amanda! I so wish we were close enough to do life together a bit, but I am thankful for the time we had together:) Love you.
Posted by: Beth Webb | 16 May 2012 at 08:13 AM
Love this post friend; I'm so proud of your commitment to Jesus and to your family. You are doing an awesome job with your kids--they are so blessed to have you as their mama!
Posted by: Carolina-orange.blogspot.com | 16 May 2012 at 07:16 AM
Thanks for encouraging me on this journey, Sharon!
Posted by: Beth Webb | 15 May 2012 at 07:08 PM
Beautifully said.....
Posted by: SharonZebick | 15 May 2012 at 06:34 PM