This post is part of Jen Hatmaker’s “For the Love” Blog Tour which I am delighted to be a part of along with many other inspiring bloggers. To learn more and join us, CLICK HERE.
There is something I can almost always tell within minutes of spending time with someone. I can almost always tell how connected they are to genuine community. You know the "you tell me your junk and I'll tell you my junk" kind of community. This community can come in all sorts of shapes, sizes, and formats. But, most of the time this type of community comes when people who have something in common intentionally connect together, band together, and share life together.
People crave community. In fact, God created us that way. He created us to live with and rely on and enjoy other people! But, when I look around, that seems to be so rare--people actually doing life with other people in a way where they feel known and loved.
God has begun to give me a passion and a desire to connect people to community. Life is just better when it's lived with people. With my people. With people who know that I don't have it all together. With people who see my kids at their worst. With people who know how I got where I am. With people who listen to my dreams. With people who share the difficult places they find themselves in. With people who offer grace. With people who share their struggles. With people who speak truth and then walk beside you.
I do in fact think life was meant to be lived with real people around kitchen tables and on front porches. That is where my heart gets poured out and someone else steps in and helps pick up the pieces. I have experienced this over and over again. So, I know it's real. And, I believe it can be real for all of us.
As I was reading For the Love by Jen Hatmaker, this theme continued to pop up throughout the book. When we invite others into our spaces, we give ourselves a chance at this kind of genuine community. We give ourselves a chance to love unconditionally and share grace. And, we give ourselves the chance to soak in that same love and grace.
Chapter after chapter is filled with truth about community. In her chapter, Telling the Truth, she writes, "If we could believe we are deeply connected in the fragile places, we could drop the games. When you tell me the truth about yourself, I no longer hide from you. You become safe for me. So guess what? You are now a recipient of my truth too. I am drawn to you. Your vulnerability makes a path for my own. Your truth-telling says to me, 'I will not despise, judge, or abandon you.'" Sometimes we get scared and we stop telling the truth. And, when we are living in real community, we don't have to be afraid anymore. Our people will love us. And, our people will begin telling the truth more and more if we lead them by telling the truth.
Our family tries to step out and invite others into community. This gets messy with me (a mom who doesn't really value a clean home), four kids three to seven and, and a pastor husband (sometimes I think that means we should be more perfect). Then in her chapter Porches as Alters, she encourages my heart: "Loneliness can be a prison, but we have the keys. If you can make a pot of chili and use a cell phone, then you can create community. If you want to wait until your house is perfect and you aren't nervous, then just forget it. This is an imperfect apparatus, thank goodness. It requires people with true faces, courageously being seen. There is no alternative to genuine connection. Sorry. Community has to start somewhere, and that somewhere should be sincere. Otherwise you build a flimsy house of cards. Run the risk analysis and decide if safety is worth the loneliness prison. I suggest it is not." She tell me this is worth it. She tells me to keep going. We can give people what they are looking for.
I want you to read this book. I want you to read this book for so many reasons. You will laugh, and you will cry. But, I hope when you finish, you move. You do something. And, you will begin to see that something happens when we dive into genuine, grace-filled community.
To be entered to win a copy of For the Love, comment on this post by Wednesday evening at 9pm CST. Tell me where you have found real community!
The winner of the copy of For the Love is Candi Dorman! Thanks everyone for sharing my blog post and participating in the conversation. If you would like a copy of For the Love, pick up one at Amazon or Barnes & Noble! Local friends, you can buy one from me for $12!
Posted by: Beth Webb | 20 August 2015 at 07:44 AM
Candi, this book is so practical in that regard. She gives us some great ideas and insight into creating for ourself!! Enjoy reading:)
Posted by: Beth Webb | 19 August 2015 at 07:25 PM
Sounds like a great book. I look forward to reading it and learning more about community - the community I'm desperately seeking in my life right now.
Posted by: Candidorman | 19 August 2015 at 04:03 PM
Amy Marten posted, "Love your blog!! Here are my thoughts on community...We attend an adult bible fellowship with about 80 people our age. We continue to talk about community and how genuine community is built. The reality is the group is much too big. For us, hosting a small group (4 couples) has been a way we can connect and be real on a smaller scale. But it has taken over a year to build up trust, and I believe it has and will take even more intentional time for some people. Unfortunately, our "busy" lives prevent us from taking the needed time to establish this trust. Of course, busy is a choice too. We don't want to expose our issues. I wish we could all jump in, having faith that the freedom we can experience is totally worth it! I can't wait to get the book to learn more."
Posted by: Beth Webb | 19 August 2015 at 10:53 AM
I totally understand how desperately we need community at every stage, but come on, the little kid stage...we just might lose our minds without some adult conversation and people who love us no matter how we parent! I am glad you have found that through MOPS.
Posted by: Beth Webb | 18 August 2015 at 01:14 PM
I love this, and I cannot wait to sit down with a cup of coffee and this new book that is sure to be inspiring and encouraging. I've found real community in my local MOPS group! Without these ladies, I might still be drowning in the messiness of mommyhood. It's so great to know we're not alone and that we're not supposed to go through our journey alone!
Posted by: Liz23407 | 18 August 2015 at 01:11 PM
Thanks, Mel! I am so glad God created us for real & genuine relationships and community!
Posted by: Beth Webb | 18 August 2015 at 01:06 PM
"If we could believe we are deeply connected in the fragile places, we could drop the games. When you tell me the truth about yourself, I no longer hide from you. You become safe for me. So guess what? You are now a recipient of my truth too. I am drawn to you. Your vulnerability makes a path for my own. Your truth-telling says to me, 'I will not despise, judge, or abandon you.'" Sometimes we get scared and we stop telling the truth. And, when we are living in real community, we don't have to be afraid anymore. Our people will love us. And, our people will begin telling the truth more and more if we lead them by telling the truth."
This is so good, I can't even ...
Thanks for attempting to live this and encouraging others to, Beth!!
Posted by: Melodyedr | 18 August 2015 at 11:29 AM
Thanks for sharing, Riely! I know God will continue to provide as you seek Him! You can be the catalyst...
Posted by: Beth Webb | 18 August 2015 at 09:40 AM
This. I love this.
I had the most solid community of people around me for a year as we traveled the world together. People who saw me in my messiest moments and still loved me, people who called me out of junk and called me higher into the truth of my identity and into the freedom of the Father. People who wept when I wept and rejoiced as I rejoiced. People who love me for me, wherever I'm at, and who wouldn't allow me to be anything but 100% real and authentic and genuine no matter how ugly the genuine was sometimes they always saw the beauty the Lord was forming through it! They championed me and spurred me on, they challenged me and walked alongside me every step. They turned my eyes back to jesus every breath I took. They let me see their hearts, they trusted deep, they were hungry for more of the Father in all of us.
My struggle the last two years has been finding genuine community upon coming back to LG. I have some great sweet friendships here.. But nothing like the intense, spirit filled, let's do life together community I came from. Mostly because I'm one of the only my age around here who's seen what that genuine community looks like.. And it's something even words can't explain. It's something people have to hunger for, and the busy schedules and constant go go go of this generation has distracted from the growling of that hunger in their spirits. It's been hard, so incredibly hard.. I believe it's hard at all ages. But when we take that dive.. When we make that choice to commit and say yes and press deep into the hearts of those around us it is WORTH it. It becomes something we long for and love. I have hope Gods doing big things in this season with it! So so glad your hearts eager to see true community burst forth :) Praying revival of genuine community in this town, in this county, and in this generation. thanks for posting beautiful ;)
Posted by: RielyRae | 18 August 2015 at 09:38 AM