Another Christmas Eve and our kids were all snuggled in bed. The house was quiet. It was peaceful. I got comfy on the couch next to my hubby. And, we did what we do almost every year...
We became overwhelmed by a momentary panic. Here are the questions we thought about and talked about over the next few moments: Is that really all our kids are getting for Christmas? Are they going to be disappointed when they walk down in the morning? Those same gifts that have been sitting there wrapped for weeks. That's it. For a moment I am bummed that the only things I am opening on Christmas morning will be homemade gifts my kids made at school. For a moment I wonder if I have ruined everything for my kids. Ten total gifts under the tree for four kids. What kind of horrible parents are we?
We have spent almost an entire month talking to our kids about who Jesus is and why He is worth celebrating. We have been combatting the idea that we must be good to receive gifts. We have spent the month trying to be generous beyond the norm, to show our kids and let our kids join in with giving lavishly to others.
Then we move to justifying our decision for a few gifts. Aren't we generous with our kids all year? We give to them by loving them. We give to them because we love them no matter what they do or don't do. Today isn't about us, anyway. It is about celebrating Jesus. It is about showing other people hope and peace. How are we doing that again?
And, it arrives.
Just like every other year, Christmas arrives in its peaceful glory. The kids are excited. We are excited. We gather together. As the kids begin opening gifts, I feel better. This is simple. This is us. Our kids are happy. They aren't looking for more gifts.
And, then, just as I was feeling better, my second-born, highly emotional, always feels left out, middle child, opens her second gift. I was sure she would love it. All she says is, "I don't like it." She pushes it away and buries her head. All I could do was cry. I really did ruin Christmas for her. She is getting two gifts all for herself and she doesn't like one? If only I had twelve more gifts to give her so she could forget about this one.
Time passed.
My daughter apologized.
We talked.
We explored the gift together.
We spent our day as a family playing new games, building, creating, and of course eating yummy meals together. We watched Christmas movies. This is what I wanted. This is what I imagined. It seems too perfect. No one was bored. There were no more tears.
So, after a few days to watch and evaluate, I wouldn't change a thing. We are reading their books together. We are settled back into our life and these gifts are finding their place into our home and little world.
No parents want to disappoint their kids. We all want to be great. But, sometimes we need to redefine our definition of great. We need to step back from the little moments and look at who our kids are becoming and who we are becoming as we lead our kids. I want to be generous. And, I want to be generous with our kids. But, our generosity does not have to look like a mound of gifts on Christmas morning. It can look like time together. It can look like experiences throughout the year. It can look like an unexpected gift. It can look like a hug or word of encouragement at just the right time.
I want to teach our kids about generosity, but, about real generosity: the kind of generosity that gives to anyone without expecting anything in return, the kind of generosity that gives what matters, the kind of generosity that gives to those who could never give to us. I want my kids to understand God's generous love and giving to us and how it compels us to give!
I will try to learn from this year. I will try to remember why we do what we do each year. I will try to remember all year long how to be generous and how to love. I will need to keep moving closer to my Jesus who loves me so extravagantly and leads me to give and love like Him.
Comments