will I ever wear a white shirt again?

Leaving Jesus Out of Christmas...

It's the most wonderful time of the year. But why? I love this season as winter creeps in with bare trees and flurries fall from the sky. I love the lights everywhere. I love the festivities. I love the cookies and tree cutting and smell of peppermint.

And, this is why it can be so easy to forget what we are celebrating.

This is why we can so easily leave Jesus out of Christmas. Let's be honest. Most of the world does not care that Jesus was born, that He lived, and died, and rose from the dead. Some might even acknowledge Him during this season, but He isn't celebrated.

When I think about our home, I continually ask: "Is our home saturated with Jesus and the gospel or do we just have a sticker on our car that says 'Jesus is the reason for the season'?" What am I actually doing to saturate our home with the story of Jesus? This is a great question I should be asking all year long but particularly at Christmas when we can be overwhelmed with the "other" things at Christmas, good things that often pull us to leave Jesus out.

Each day as we leave our home, everything is fighting against us focusing on Jesus: public school, shopping, Santa is everywhere, and so many other good things are vying for our attention. In our season with elementary kids, we have to be so intentional to overshadow the secular version of Christmas. Just yesterday one of my girls came home and asked,"How is Santa not real if one of the girls in my class saw him and his sleigh?" She went on to say that she didn't tell the girl is was made up, but my curious one still has questions. If all she hears about at school is Santa and reindeer and elves, how do we make our home a place where Jesus reigns during this season?

I am still learning how to do this. We still watch movies about Santa Clause in our home and we still have snowmen around. But, I am working to create moments where all of that is set aside and Jesus is what we talk about. Here is a glimpse of what we do:

1. We have our Jesus Storybook Bible Advent reading--as our kids grow, we may shift to something else, but I love how it uses the entire story of the Bible to point to the coming King Jesus! This year we are trying to read at breakfast--to start our day talking about the story of Jesus. I don't want the day to get busy and it get pushed aside.

2. Nativities fill our spaces. I want more and more to add to our home. Right now we have many throughout our decorations and two our kids can play with. They end up telling the story of Jesus to each other more than I could ever tell them in conversation!

3. Our home is quiet and simple. Our schedule is light. We have very few obligations over the next few weeks. We try to make time to just be at home, to sit by the tree and read and play and truly enjoy the season. When we are not bogged down with so much doing, we can focus on Jesus.

4. We are intentional about focusing outward. I love giving to my kids! And, I do on a regular basis. So, at Christmas, why not focus on others...all over the world! Near and far, we like to give. I want my kids to grow up in a home where serving and giving is what we do. I want them to be excited to give. I want them to learn to give to those who can never give back to us. This season gives us many opportunities to give.

5. We have conversation after conversation about the whys of how we choose to spend our moments. This is squeezed in at number five, but may be the most important thing we do. We don't dismiss conversations or topics. We tackle the difficult things in our home. This isn't always what I want to do but what I must do. And, Christmas gives us more opportunities to talk about what following Jesus looks like. Maybe our Christmas isn't as magical. But, I hope the sacred and safe spaces in our home create opportunities for my family to truly experience the goodness and grace of God.

6. We rarely talk about gifts we are receiving. Our kids don't make lists of what they want (except for Ryker every time we are in a toy store). We pay attention throughout the year and determine their three or four gifts. They are mostly determined and bought or accounted for by other family members before December. I am not bogged down with shopping or overwhelmed.

7. I have to remember that I set the tone in our home. When I am at peace, our home is peaceful. When I am content, my family is content. When I don't get sucked into wanting more and feeling like what we do isn't enough, my family follows suit. For me, I must spend time with Jesus to remain this way. Every day. Then our home becomes a safe place for us all to move closer to Jesus.

For our family, doing these things doesn't just give us the opportunity to move closer to Jesus, but it gives us space to invite others to join us. Even those who aren't interested in celebrating Jesus are still singing Joy to the World. Maybe just maybe they realize the need for Jesus and they simply need someone to share Him in real and tangible ways. And, when we give generously and spend moments with the story of Jesus, our family is positioned well to pay attention to others and their faith journeys. My hope is that the most magical Christmas memories for my kids are full of stories of others who found Jesus, who found hope.

There are so many things we can do to bring Jesus to the forefront at Christmas. I am always looking for fresh ways to tell the story of Jesus in my home. What are you doing?

Click on Christmas in the categories to the right for more thoughts on an intentional Christmas.

We did it again...

Another Christmas Eve and our kids were all snuggled in bed. The house was quiet. It was peaceful. I got comfy on the couch next to my hubby. And, we did what we do almost every year...

We became overwhelmed by a momentary panic. Here are the questions we thought about and talked about over the next few moments: Is that really all our kids are getting for Christmas? Are they going to be disappointed when they walk down in the morning? Those same gifts that have been sitting there wrapped for weeks. That's it. For a moment I am bummed that the only things I am opening on Christmas morning will be homemade gifts my kids made at school. For a moment I wonder if I have ruined everything for my kids. Ten total gifts under the tree for four kids. What kind of horrible parents are we? 

We have spent almost an entire month talking to our kids about who Jesus is and why He is worth celebrating. We have been combatting the idea that we must be good to receive gifts. We have spent the month trying to be generous beyond the norm, to show our kids and let our kids join in with giving lavishly to others. 

Then we move to justifying our decision for a few gifts. Aren't we generous with our kids all year? We give to them by loving them. We give to them because we love them no matter what they do or don't do. Today isn't about us, anyway. It is about celebrating Jesus. It is about showing other people hope and peace. How are we doing that again? 

And, it arrives. 

Just like every other year, Christmas arrives in its peaceful glory. The kids are excited. We are excited. We gather together. As the kids begin opening gifts, I feel better. This is simple. This is us. Our kids are happy. They aren't looking for more gifts. 

And, then, just as I was feeling better, my second-born, highly emotional, always feels left out, middle child, opens her second gift. I was sure she would love it. All she says is, "I don't like it." She pushes it away and buries her head. All I could do was cry. I really did ruin Christmas for her. She is getting two gifts all for herself and she doesn't like one? If only I had twelve more gifts to give her so she could forget about this one. 

Time passed.

My daughter apologized.

We talked. 

We explored the gift together.

We spent our day as a family playing new games, building, creating, and of course eating yummy meals together. We watched Christmas movies. This is what I wanted. This is what I imagined. It seems too perfect. No one was bored. There were no more tears.

So, after a few days to watch and evaluate, I wouldn't change a thing. We are reading their books together. We are settled back into our life and these gifts are finding their place into our home and little world.

No parents want to disappoint their kids. We all want to be great. But, sometimes we need to redefine our definition of great. We need to step back from the little moments and look at who our kids are becoming and who we are becoming as we lead our kids. I want to be generous. And, I want to be generous with our kids. But, our generosity does not have to look like a mound of gifts on Christmas morning. It can look like time together. It can look like experiences throughout the year. It can look like an unexpected gift. It can look like a hug or word of encouragement at just the right time. 

I want to teach our kids about generosity, but, about real generosity: the kind of generosity that gives to anyone without expecting anything in return, the kind of generosity that gives what matters, the kind of generosity that gives to those who could never give to us. I want my kids to understand God's generous love and giving to us and how it compels us to give!

I will try to learn from this year. I will try to remember why we do what we do each year. I will try to remember all year long how to be generous and how to love. I will need to keep moving closer to my Jesus who loves me so extravagantly and leads me to give and love like Him.

 

 

 

Christmas is Here...

We all know it's coming--there are already signs of it everywhere. I even watched White Christmas last week while Buck was gone. So, let's get a handle on Christmas now, before it swallows us whole.

I find this same scenario happening over and over again around me. Whether I'm in a meeting or out and about or hanging with friends, I always hear the same statement: "Let's not plan anything in December/I can't do December; it's already so busy for us."

Or, I hear this: "How are we going to pay for Christmas?"

Or I hear this: "Our culture has forgotten to put Christ in Christmas!"

So, how do we keep from being trapped in this huge, overwhelming idea Christmas has become in our culture?

I think it begins with deciding ahead of time what you want Christmas to look like. I think we have to determine ahead of time what is most important. We have to determine what our families want to celebrate and how we are going to make sure that happens.

For us, we have determined four things to guide our Christmas season...these are all one of our family values & we use these to determine what our time looks like.

1. Intentionality -- We want to have fun. We want to celebrate Jesus. We want to spend time together. How can we do this? We plan it. We plan out something almost every day. Some days it is hot chocolate by the fire reading a story. Sometimes it is a Christmas concert at school. Sometimes it is shopping for kids who aren't getting gifts at Christmas. But, we have a plan. We mix in the things we have to do with the things we want to do and come up with a simple plan.

2. God's Purpose -- God had a plan when He sent Jesus--He wanted to redeem His relationship with humanity. So, we must not forget why we celebrate this time of year. Are our conversations pointed toward Him? Are we teaching our kids to see ways to share His mercy and compassion as we go about our day? Are we entrenched in His word so that His ways begin to become our ways? We have a plan to point the things we do toward Him and so then we simply have to follow through with the conversations and connecting everything back to the gospel, the good news, that Jesus came to save us!

3. Each Other -- How can we make the most of these fun days and spend them together? It's what our kids want the most, isn't it? Wouldn't they choose fun with you any day over a new toy? Ikea said it best with their Christmas commercial.

 

4. Generosity -- We know our kids love spending time together, but everyone loves to celebrate with gifts. We can give gifts to show that we love and care for someone, to remind someone the value we see in them. So, here is how we give at Christmas:

We give to the people around us who give so much to us--our teachers/school staff, community workers, small group leaders--those who pour themselves out to our family on a regular basis.

We give to the people who cannot give anything back to us. We give locally and globally to help those who may need a meal, a toy, or an experience this Christmas. We do some of this giving through our church and some on our own.

We give to our families. This year, we are mailing out simple Christmas boxes. We want them to get a little bit of happiness in the mail and know we are thinking about them!

We give to our kids. You can read my other Christmas blogs to see more details in this. But, our kids are getting five gifts this Christmas, in total, from everyone! We have already sent out a family email with the wishlist for this year. Our kids will open four gifts on Christmas morning because gift #5 is money for them to give with over the Christmas season. This year our kids are each getting these four gifts: Something to Create/Build, Something to Play (a family game), Something to Read, and Something to Experience.

So, every year Christmas comes. We don't lose the joy and excitement and fun by planning ahead. Actually, I think we are more able to live in the moment, to capture the memories, and enjoy the season because we aren't rushed. We have a plan. Jesus doesn't get lost in the hustle and bustle because we plan ways to incorporate the primary story of Christmas into our story.

So, sit down with your calendar, budget, and family, and PLAN CHRISTMAS, because Christmas is here...

Below are some of my other blogs on Christmas if you need to catch up:

Christmas on Purpose

You Told Your Kid What?!?!

Santa & the Public School

Christmas in Our Home: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

To the Other Parents Destroying Your Families...

Changing Things Up a Bit...

Christmas Reflections: Giving & Receiving

Christmas Reflections: Don't Be Afraid