Will I Ever Wear a White Shirt Again?

Today I Said See You Later to Grandad...

Today I attended the funeral for my grandfather, for my grandad. It was a day full of so many emotions. I could probably write and write from all the thoughts I've had this week alone. But, I thought maybe just a few thoughts about who my Grandad was, and who he helped me become would be better.

As I was writing this tonight, I realized that we each have a different context when we think about people. For me, I was the only one today who was a granddaughter to my grandad. (I’m representing my cousin Melissa too.) Growing up as a granddaughter was something really special. And, let’s be honest, I caused a lot less headaches than all the grandsons. Anyway, as a granddaughter, I always felt special. But, grandad had a way of doing that, of making the person right in front of him feel like the only person in the world. Most of the time it was a good thing, like if you were sitting across the booth from him for an Arby’s milkshake. Sometimes though, when you didn’t back up the 2nd baseman correctly…well, you still felt like the only person in the world.

If you ever played softball for my grandad, you know exactly what I’m talking about. There were two things he couldn’t stand: his players making mistakes and the umps making mistakes. But, he did something about both of those things. First, he taught his players everything they needed to succeed. I guess that’s what great coaches do. One of my favorite memories with my grandad is getting to go to softball games with him when he coached for the Home Mission Board. He had some great teams. He had some great players. But, he made everybody better by making sure they understood their role.
We would pull into games in Grandpa Moore’s old truck. I truly loved being at the ballpark with him. But, my favorite day was when we were at First Baptist Decatur, and we had a rain delay. He didn’t waste it. We found a classroom inside the church. He went over every scenario that could happen on a field and where each person on the field should be moving in each scenario. I learned more in that one day than I did in all my years of playing softball. Sometimes (mostly when someone couldn’t make it), I got to play. I was technically too young to play. But, I loved being apart of the team. He would always bat me last which meant I needed to get a double or get out because Corey was batting leadoff & I needed at least a two base lead because of his speed. Anyway, back to what my grandad cared about: doing things the right way, oh yeah, and the umps getting the calls right. One thing that meant as a player though was that you always knew grandad had your back (if you were right). I’ve seen him get thrown out of games. I’ve seen him come really close. He wasn’t going to leave his people out there to fight alone. Of course, I knew this long before I started going to softball games with him. I knew it the night when I was ten & he stood between me and a very scary situation. I think I always knew after that night, that grandad was the real deal. He was going to go down fighting before His people were hurt.

Even on his last days, he was making sure his people were okay. Mom called me earlier this week and said he just wanted to make sure his family was okay. Well, here we are grandad. We are okay. We are better than okay because we have the hope of Jesus, the hope of something better. You don’t have to be our superman, because you entrusted us to the Creator and Savior of the world. You knew where to point us. You knew that in 100 years, the only thing that would matter is our relationship with Jesus.

So, as I’ve sat this week and thought about my grandad’s life, I’ve mostly thought about my relationship with Jesus. I’ve thought about the words of this song I love, “Speak to me when the silence steals my voice. Come to me in the valley of unknowns. You understand me. So, I throw all my cares before you, my doubts and fears don’t scare You. You’re bigger than I thought you were.” I think Grandad is in Heaven realizing everything He ever thought about God didn’t even touch the surface. I think He would tell us to rest in that hope. So, I’m going to lean a little closer to Jesus, to ask Him to help me reach the faith that’s underneath. I am choosing today to rest in my Father’s hands.

Widen the Circle...

As a young mom, I found myself in a similar spot as others on many Tuesday mornings: in the grocery store with a four year old, two year old, one year old, and an infant. Now, maybe everyone is not as crazy as me. But, even sometimes with just one kid in the cart or a toddler trailing behind, the same scenario plays out. We all know it. Someone else has an idea of how you could be doing something better. Occasionally it is harsh or snarky, but often times it is just a gentle reminder of how we are coming up short. As if we weren't already aware of our shortcomings. And, it creates this feeling in us that we are all alone, that no one understands, that everyone is against us.

I remember this one moment. I was on the chip aisle, and an older man walked up to me. His words surprised me: "I know you are working so hard, but you must be having lots of fun too!" Whew! Yes! That's it. You really saw me. You are for me. We are going to be okay. Sometimes as parents we can lose sight of what we are trying to do because of the daily grind. But, on those same days a simple statement from someone we don't know can change our entire perspective or help us feel not alone. It is so uplifting to know someone is for us. Now, just think about what can happen if those "someones" who are for us are actually all around us and we take the time to see them.

And, what if we could leverage those "someones" to change the way our family operates, to let them in on the imperfection, the chaos, the normal. What if we came out of hiding and let others see us and invest in us and help us with our ultimate job. For our family this means raising adults who love God and love people. We aren't just trying to keep them alive. We aren't trying to make sure they get a good job. We don't just want them to behave. We want them to think and learn and live a full life by understanding the goodness of a God who sent Jesus for them. Your objective may be different, but I still think the following principle can benefit your family: WIDEN THE CIRCLE

I learned about widening the circle when I read Parenting Beyond Your Capacity by Reggie Joiner & Carey Nieuwhof. Widening the circle simply means Pursuing strategic relationships for your son or daughter. I truly believe my children need more than just me as they learn about who God is and what it means to follow Him. When I think back on my life, I can name five to seven adults who played very significant roles in my life outside of my parents. I am not trying to relinquish my role as the primary discipler in the lives of my kids, but rather realize that a village of people being for our family and for my kids could be the missing piece. I want other adults telling my kids the same things I'm telling them or maybe even sharing a unique perspective that connects with my child that I am missing or cannot relate to.

So, here are the four simple steps we take as a family to widen the circle:

Realize that we shouldn't parent alone. There are so many people who are private. I even understand why. And, discretion at a certain level is definitely appreciated by most. But, when we keep our family to ourselves and just deal with our problems, we miss out on the opportunities to experience other people caring for us, coming through for us, standing with us, being for us. And, it is difficult for others to do that if we don't create spaces for them to know us, to invite them in. We are going to have to be vulnerable, to let our flaws show a bit so that others can help fill in the gaps and truly make a difference.

Find a church that cares about the next generation At church, we want to be somewhere that is intentional about placing adults (or teenagers for my younger kids) in the lives of our kids. Buck's goal as a family pastor in fact, is for kids to be able to name five adults who invested in them as thew grew up. It's what we want for our kids. We want people to be present, to show up over and over again, to really know our kids and care about them. For so many, the small group leader represents church. Janelle has been church to Peyton. Jayce has been church for Addison. Mike has been church to Tatum. Leslie has been church to Ryker. I could name others. But, it has been so important for my kids to have people show up for them who love God and love my kids. They are giving my kids a clear picture of what it means for God to love them and want a relationship with them. So, are you a part of a church that is being intentional to give you people instead of programs? Do you know who knows your child?

Partner with those already in the life of your child. For our family this happens in two arenas: church/spiritual growth and everywhere else (school, sports, family, neighborhood, etc). First, returning to the small group leaders mentioned above. If I want them to really know my child, there are two things I can do. First, I can show up on a regular basis. Secondly, I can share with their small group leader about what's going on at home, what our struggles are, and the faith questions my kids are asking. This is very similar to how we widen the circle outside of our faith community as well. My kids actually have adults in their lives all the time through school and sports and parents in our neighborhood. But, these relationships can have a greater impact if I am willing to partner with them. This could mean showing up and supporting them. This could mean being the parent who offers to bring snacks or host the team at our home. When I show up and let others know that I care about how they are investing in my kid, it only has positive consequences. Sometimes they lean in closer because they know what's going on in the life of your family. Sometimes a quicker or healthier solution is determined because a relationship actually exists. I can think of time after time where it mattered that I really knew and cared about the people who were investing in my kids. So, bridge the gap by getting to know them, showing up, and supporting those who are loving your kids.

Invite people into the life of your child. This piece takes a little more effort, and it is sometimes simply an extension of the previous steps in widening the circle. Who has a connection with your child? Who has something to offer your child? Sometimes as parents, we need to go out and force some things to happen on behalf of our kids. I hope we will do more of this as our kids get older, but for this summer I just kept it simple. I sent an email to three women in our church to see if they would be interested in hanging with one of my girls this summer--three women, three daughters:

Thanks so much for loving my kiddos & our family! I was wondering if you would be interested in hanging with Peyton one day this summer...you can do whatever sounds fun & also talk to her about your relationship with Jesus and what He is teaching you and what it means for you to follow Him!

Let me know if you are interested!

It is only one day. But, I'd like to think these days will become something our kids look forward to and that one day they will look back on a few moments from these days and realize how pivotal they were in their walks with Jesus. It is absolutely okay to ask others to join you on the adventure of parenting!

Widening the circle may look different for each family, but I think this is something we can all do. We are always tweaking and evaluating what is working for our family. Who is for you? Who sees you? Who is around and cares about who your kids are becoming?

And, if someone widens their circle and invites you in, go for it! You don't have to be perfect. You don't have to have all the answers. You just need to show up in the life of a kid or teenager and love them.

We Built a Table...

I wouldn't call us handy or crafty or anything else that would imply that we should be building things. But, that shouldn't keep us from trying.

And, God has given our family some very clear objectives. Some might say it's a calling. But, we are to invest in people. It's not an option for us. And, to us, investing in people often means knowing them. It sounds simple at the outset. But, when it comes down to it, it takes really intentional steps.

Here are three simple things we do to make sure we are investing in other people:
1. We create space in our calendar. This one is actually the one that trips most people up. Since we have determined this is something we must do, we make room for it. We don't over-schedule ourselves. And, we look for ways to invest in others in what we are already doing.

2. We budget for it. Yes! You can absolutely invest in other people without spending money. But, there are times when you can give more and offer more. And, we like to have room to give.

3. We invite people in. This means, we invite them into our space. It can be scary. Our home is where our guard is down, where the "real us" is seen so often. But, our hope is when people begin to see a bit of the "real us", they begin to share pieces of the "real them". I have a sneaky suspicion everyone already knows we aren't perfect, but when we let them into spaces they get to see it up close.

So, back to the building...

We have decided that often times a table is the best way to get to know someone. When you share a meal with others, there are little distractions...unless there are a ton of little kids present. And, everyone likes to eat. Well, all normal people love to eat!

So, we built a table. For people to sit around. To give people a space to share the stories of their lives. And, we built a big one. Bigger than our family needs. If we had enough chairs I think we could fit at least twenty around this twelve foot table. We built it big enough for soccer teams and small groups and neighbors and book clubs to gather around. Our daughter's soccer team and families came over this week (even though we don't have chairs yet) and we gathered chairs and benches from all over our home so we could eat together.

Also, this table isn't perfect. But, neither are the people gathered around the table. It's a real table put together imperfectly but intentionally to create a space for people to be known. It can be a terrifying experience to begin sharing ourselves with others, but it can bring about the greatest experiences of our lives.

Our hope in sharing our lives and creating spaces for others to share their lives is that the grace of God will abound. We hope to share the story of a King who loved us so much that He created space for us in His Kingdom by sending Jesus. If He was willing to go to such extreme measures for us, then we can do it for others. We can clear our schedules, spend a little more money, and create inviting spaces so others can feel loved and valued and understand how much their Creator loves them.

I cannot wait to see who sits around this table as the years pass by. We will have more stories to tell of those who have invested in our hearts and of many who experienced authentic community, maybe because of a table...

Kindness & Intentionality and What I've Learned about my Neighbors...

This morning Ryker and I had the privilege of delivering some leftover cupcakes to some of our librarians. Now, our family frequents our public library multiple times each week. Between activities and books on hold and something to do on a cold, snowy day, we are there so much. We know them and they know us. They have seen our family at its best when our kids are serving each other. And they have seen me dragging my son out of the library with no movies because he wanted to scream and kick rather than just choose a movie. So, my hope is that the cupcakes bring a smile to their faces and make them feel appreciated and valued.

I realize it is very trendy these days to do "random acts of kindness." It is fun to 'pay it forward' when the car in front of you just bought your coke that you desperately needed to get through a tough day. But, what do these acts of kindness accomplish?

Don't misunderstand me. Random acts of kindness can be a great thing. I have been on the receiving end of many and it still feels good to buy a block of "expensive" cheese for the lady who put it back when she found out how much it cost. It is never a bad thing to help the elderly couple place their groceries in their trunk. Kindness is always good. And, sometimes, helping someone have a better day than they were having is enough!

We should always be kind. Being selfish or living with the mindset of "I'll never see this person again" does not help anyone.

But, sometimes we have the opportunity to spread kindness intentionally over time and make a greater impact. What if our acts of kindness weren't random? What if we actually planned for them, budgeted for them, and invested over the long term? Any time we invest somewhere over time, it makes a deeper and longer lasting impact.

Our family likes to keep things simple. For us this means trying to create relationships wherever we go. It means checking out with the same cashier when we can. It means interacting with our librarians about real life instead of just getting out of there as fast as possible. It means volunteering at our kids' school over and over again and supporting them in whatever ways we can. It means watching for the mailman, not just the mail, so that when he starts asking spiritual questions he knows where to turn. It means talking to my neighbor when I'd rather avoid eye contact and get inside on a windy day. It means giving to the same organizations over time so we see the investment and understand the difference a little bit over a long time can make. It means taking a little extra time to get to know the people around us. There is nothing random about it.

So, what are the things you do all the time? Where do you go at least once a week? How can you invest in those places? How can you focus your kindness toward your neighbors and maybe make a more eternal impact?

Maybe being kind isn't about making us feel better (though it will) but about sacrificing time, money, or energy, a little piece of ourselves, to show someone else how loved they are by a God who created them. As Reggie Joiner says, "What would happen if you decided to treat--consciously and intentionally--every kid like they are made in the image of God?" What if we thought about the people we see regularly and decided that random acts of kindness aren't enough, but that we can invest over and over in the lives of others and show them a God who loves them!

I want to be for my neighbors. This means taking the time to notice them. This means setting aside my agenda and wants sometimes to step into their world and see them and see their needs and give. We could have given the cupcakes to anyone. And, it would have been nice. But, we gave them where relationships are already established. And, I hope our simple, intentional gesture of kindness creates a deeper relationship and more conversations about things that matter!

So, maybe you don't need to "Just Say NO to Random Acts of Kindness," but maybe you need to look for some consistent and intentional ways to be kind.

We Got Away...

One of our eight family values is discipline. Honestly, I remember cringing when we included it with our values eleven years ago. I am not disciplined. Shouldn't we value something else like procrastination or "just knowing enough to get by". I felt uncomfortable at the time in the way it would stretch me, and even more uncertain about what it would look like to bring children into a home that valued discipline. You see, discipline is defined by us as any training intended to produce a specific character or pattern of behavior and saying no to something so that we can say yes to what's most important.

For those of you who are naturally disciplined people, that may not seem that atrocious. But, to me, it is overwhelming. And, so, to teach my kids to be disciplined is a daily chore for me.

That's why getting away from the distractions of home is important. That's exactly what we did last week. We drove to a cabin for pastors' families in the middle of nowhere in Indiana. We had no cell service, no television, and nothing to do: we had no schedule for two days.

I wasn't really sure what this would look like with four kiddos eight and under. I mean we pray in our home regularly. We talk about God all the time. We talk about what it looks like to follow Jesus. But, now, it isn't just a part of our day, it is our whole reason for existing for two days.

Obviously, we had a lot of family time reading, playing games, making and eating yummy meals, roasting marshmallows, and feeding the horses. But, we wanted to add in some intentional moments designed for our kiddos to experience God in a new way. I brought journals and sketchpads and crayons and colored pencils. There were three main things we did that were the focus of our time away.

First, Buck picked a passage for us to focus on the weekend. We read it a few times throughout the weekend. We asked some questions about what that can look like for each of us.

Second, we followed the trails around the camp. When we came to a prayer stone or another spot the kids wanted to stop, everyone pulled their supplies out of their bags. At the prayer stones, we would read the verse on the stone and unwrap it for just a minute. Then we gave them time. We told them they could pray or draw or write. We told them they could walk around or be still. Some drew pictures of what they saw in God's creation. Some wrote stories about our journey. And, some wrote what they were experiencing and thinking. Our only rule was that you had to be quiet so that everyone could do whatever they wanted. Sometimes the quiet thing worked better than others. But, I was impressed with the way they jumped in and participated.

Finally, on our last morning, we walked up through the meadow to the prayer labyrinth. I haven't walked through a prayer labyrinth since I was in college. We gave each of our kids an opportunity to walk through. We talked with them about focusing on God as they walked through. It's a hard thing to do. It's especially difficult to do with the quiet whispers of your siblings sitting on the outside of the labyrinth. Our youngest kids were more concerned with getting through the "maze" of the labyrinth than really communing with God. But, I hope as they grow, they will remember what it means to take time to connect with God. Personally, I was thankful for the experience. I needed to have some quiet moments with my Savior and Creator! I was glad to model spending time with God in unique ways for my kids.

I really appreciated the time away to disconnect with the world we live in and reconnect with my family and God in a quiet place. But, what I loved most was watching my kids experience God in new ways. They may not even be able to verbalize what they experienced this weekend. But, I hope it will be a marker for them in their journey of learning discipline and what it means to follow Jesus.

What are the things you do with your family to make spending time with God a priority? I need lots of good ideas!

To Our Tribe...

Today we spent the morning with our tribe, our people who have walked side by side with us over the last two and a half years.

Who is your tribe? As Reggie Joiner says, “It’s as if God designed us so we would naturally connect in Tribes. Then he used Tribes over time to reveal Himself to us, and to continue to spread His message of love.” We all need a tribe, the people who are for us and with us no matter what. We don't all have to be the same to fit. If you do not have a tribe, find one!

The list goes on and on of all our experiences together. I cannot capture it all in a photo (but I tried) or in words (here they are). But, maybe I can give you a glimpse of these years:

Big Moments
Little Moments
Death of Parents
Loss of Jobs
Birth
New Job Opportunities
Loss
Anticipation and Celebration of Vacations
Praying for Mission Trips
Expanding Homes for Safe Families
Praying for Health
Sharing Washing Machines
Coffee Dates
Lunch Dates
Neighborhood Parties
Success
Failure
New Years Eve
Adoption Fundraisers
Christmas Parades
Summer Beach Days
Chicago Trips
Karaoke
Cooking Challenges
School Events
Foodie Fridays
Date Nights
Guys Nights
Girls Nights
Sleepovers
Serving Together
Challenging Each Other to Serve
Birthdays
Outings of all sorts
And more...

And through it all we've grown together, we've become family. Today a new chapter begins as we send our group ahead without us. Our brave leaders have loved us all well. Our group is a safe place to learn and be challenged and move closer to Jesus. It is a launching pad of mission in our neighborhood.

I wouldn't have been as brave without you all. I wouldn't have stepped outside of my comfort zone as much without you all. I would not have been able to invest in our neighborhood and school as much without you all. Thanks for letting me be me. Thanks for loving our family unconditionally. Thanks for being loyal and faithful. Thanks for letting us stay.

So, now as we go, may you expand your influence. I cannot wait to see the community you invite others into as you share yourselves with them. I cannot wait to see people come to know Jesus because of the way you live together. I am looking forward to hear stories about how you continue to invest in our neighborhood and your workplaces. Keep Making Waves in Lake Geneva.

And, remember, for awhile at least we are just a block or two away. Our door is always open for you.

We love you...

Please, No Spooky Costumes...

It's that time of year again. October is coming which means all sorts of wonderful things including leaves changing color and pumpkin spice everything (although my hubby is boycotting all things pumpkin spice since he thinks it's gotten out of hand). It also means Halloween is coming. Of course you knew that because you saw the rows of Halloween Candy at Walmart five weeks ago.

And, as Halloween comes so come a thousand opinions about whether those of us who are Jesus followers should celebrate. What constitutes celebrating? Should we trick or treat? Should we go to the fall fest? It's just candy. But, if my kids participate are we supporting evil? Well, I cannot answer those questions for you or your family.

But, I can tell you this. My family will not have a sign up anywhere that says, "Please, no spooky costumes."

I mean, we mean well when we say this at our church event or neighborhood party. But, what does it really say? It says the same thing many unchurched people already believe to be true about the church: You are not welcome here. You are not good enough. You have not arrived. You clearly aren't following Jesus closely enough to come to my event because we all have on "holy" costumes here.

I mean what good is it to create a safe place and shine our lights for all to see if the people who need it the most cannot come because their costumes are too spooky? Isn't that who really needs to be there?

When we invite people into our spaces, we can choose to invite them as they are or we can keep them out until they are good enough.

Here is what our family did last year for Halloween: We came up with a few activities (apple bobbing & pasta necklaces), created a photo spot (I'm not crafty, so it was simple), and put out drinks and snacks. We invited friends from school, our small group, and trick-or-treaters walking by.

Now, imagine if we had a list of costumes that were unacceptable in our front yard. Maybe the sign could say, "Keep walking" or "No witches allowed". I think if I'm going to have a party like that, I should go inside and close my blinds, and only send out private invites.

I get it. Really. But, Halloween is evil. Yes, it can be. Actually, every day can be. And, there are people who intentionally use Halloween to do horrible, evil things. In fact, our family actually doesn't do much in the realm of spooky. Our decorations tend to be more about autumn than halloween. Our costumes are fairly tame.

But, what I've learned is that most families are just looking to have a little fun. They don't spend all of their days at home talking about monsters and witches and ghosts and "bad guys". Their kid just wanted to be that for Halloween. So, how am I going to respond? I mean, it's one of the few days of the year where all of our neighbors are out and about. So, I think I'm going to welcome them all in, no matter what their costume looks like or what kind of party they are going to later on in the day. We can choose to create safe places for our kids or a safe place for those who don't yet know Jesus to experience real love, real friendship, and maybe meet Jesus. I think He cares a lot more about their souls than what costume they are wearing. And, I want to be able to teach my kids to see people, not the costumes they choose. My kids may not be dressed as zombies or goblins, but you will most certainly see them hanging with kids who are.

How can you change something you do for Halloween to invite those who need Jesus most onto your porch or into your church parking lot or gym? Are you thinking about them as you plan? What are you willing to give up so that they will come?

Three Ways to Make Your School Year Great...

It's back to school time here in Wisconsin. As much as I love our long beautiful summers, September brings cooler temps, structure, and new opportunities. 

On the day we find out who my kids have each year, I am usually just as excited as they are. These are the people who will see my kids more than me on many days. And, I have the opportunity as a parent to invest in those who are investing in the hearts and minds of my kids. 

As parents, we are very intentional about widening the circle of who invests in and shapes our kids. And, when we partner with and communicate with those in our kids' lives, we can have a greater impact! So, our school is very important to us--our kids will learn so much inside those walls and we want to make the most of the experience! Here are three ways all parents can make the school year great:

GIVE GENEROUSLY. This one seems quite obvious. Our teachers give so much to teach--way more than I probably know. So, if there is anything I can give that will support them, make them feel valued, and relieve some of the burden, I'm in! I know it can be a lot of school supplies to buy--I am still trying to find gym shoes for three girls for less than $20/pair. But, that investment is only a little of what they will use to learn and grow and experience new things this year!

There are so many ways you can give generously and make this year better for your child, his/her teacher, and classmates. Some of you have time. Give it. Read with kids. Help with changing out bulletin boards (those staples can be tricky). Put packets together. So many of the jobs our teachers need help with are things any of us can do! 

Our family also budgets a certain amount to give away to our school and teachers each year. This allows me to pick up a favorite drink for a teacher on my way to the school, or buy extra glue sticks for the kindergarteners, or bring dinner to teachers on conference night! Last year our small group rallied together and took pints of ice cream to all the staff at our two elementary schools before spring break. Even though it was snowing that day, it was still fun to be able to give and show them how much we appreciate them!

GIVE GRACE. My kids are still young and our school is amazing, so honestly we haven't had to work too hard on this one. But, I can think of a few circumstances last year when something didn't go the way Addison expected. Honestly, I wanted to whine and complain right along with her. But, as the parent, I needed to teach her how to give grace, to give her teacher the benefit of the doubt. Here are some questions we talked through:

Do you think your teacher was trying to intentionally hurt you?

What are some ways you can solve this problem?

Was this a misunderstanding or malicious in nature?

Sometimes our teachers (who work so hard and so long to create a great learning space) miss things or don't see something they should see or actually need help with solutions to a problem. We can teach our kids to respect authority and to solve problems by showing grace. Rather than throwing our kid's teacher under the bus, we can partner with them to help our kid learn!

GIVE RESPECT. This is something our kids definitely catch from us, but it is also something they don't always see. We can show respect to teachers in so many ways. We can show respect in the ways we communicate with a teacher. Are we showing the teachers value in our communication or under-cutting their authority? Are we looking to learn from them or tell them things? Are we looking to partner with them or demand they do it all? I am so thankful for our teachers who show me respect as a parent and truly try to partner with me!

We also try to respect our teachers by doing things the way they ask for them to be done. Whether it is signing the daily folder for the 134th time or sending in forms on time, I want to show them respect by doing it right. I want their day to be a little bit easier because we chose to do what was asked. We are teaching our kids to show other people value by doing what is expected (showing up on time, completing tasks, etc) and usually when people feel valued they feel respected.

Imagine the difference if we all decided to give generously, give grace, and give respect. We could change our schools. Great teachers might keep teaching. A generation could be empowered to grow and invest in the world! 

 Most of our great staff at our kids' elementary school--we really appreciate all of you!

What I Leave with You...

I hesitated to write today. It was a rough day. Buck has been on staff at Lakeland for over four and a half years. And, now he isn't. It's over. We were there and now we aren't. That's kinda how it happened. Hundreds walked by us this morning not knowing we would never step foot inside that building again. 

It seems weird to invest so heavily in a place, in a people for so long and then it just be over. As I was sitting there this morning wishing I could just say something to so many, I decided this might be a better place to say it. First, thank you. So many Lakelanders have invested in our family and loved us so well. Lakeland truly felt like home which makes leaving so much tougher.

But, if I could sit down over coffee, here is what I would say. Here is how I hope and pray our time at Lakeland will be remembered:

The church is God's plan to share the good news of Jesus. We must stay focused on that mission. When we forget to build deep and meaningful relationships with those far from God, we will ultimately become a place where the already convinced come to feel loved, encouraged, and safe, and we will no longer be a place where life change is happening as more and more people hear the gospel. So, who lives on your street who doesn't know Jesus? How are you loving them? What role is your small group playing in their lives? No matter what happens, don't give up on the Church. Don't run and hide because something didn't go your way or someone doesn't like you. Be apart of a local church. Invest. Over and over again. Through hurt. Through disappointment. It is what we are all called to.

You will never go wrong when you put the next generation first. Most people who hear and accept the gospel are under eighteen. Great churches invest their best resources and best people into the next generation. Families can be changed because of the way a church chooses to invest in the next generation. Never get sucked into the idea that family ministry is an afterthought. Never think you have to have more space or comfort for adults before the next generation gets your best! Keep thinking about how to serve the kids and families in your church and community and you will always be relevant!

Thinking orange allows us to invest in the next generation in practical and essential ways. So many hear about what we do or ask about what we do and think curriculum. Thinking orange is more than a curriculum. It's a way to approaching the roles of the church and home that give kids a firm foundation, practical application, and allows them to develop a faith of their own. It's a strategy that says when we partner with parents and allow consistent voices in the lives of kids and students, we can show them a God who is big and loved them enough to send Jesus. We can have a huge impact when we combine the warm hearts of homes and the light of the world through the church. 

Community is essential to following Jesus. Day after day my life is better because of the people around me. If you are a Jesus follower and are not apart of a small group, you are missing out. In fact, to be a bit bold, you are probably not accomplishing all God has for you because most of those things we cannot do alone. I am closer to Jesus because of those closest to me who point me to Him over and over. I am more on mission because of my group who shows me how to love my neighbors and gives me courage to build relationships and share Jesus. What do you need to do to put yourself in community with other Jesus followers? How can this actually make you more aware of those far from God? I am overwhelmed with how our group loves us and cares for us and reminds us of what God is doing around us! We won't always get it right, but when we are living in genuine community, it is easier to get up and try again.

The only thing that will matter in 100 years is someone's relationship with Jesus. It's that simple. Let's not be distracted by the things of this world that pull us away from this. Good things. Fun things. But, things that don't measure up to eternity. Let's be on 24/7. Let's love people. Let's serve big. Let's build relationships with those who need Jesus. Let's take care of the least of these. Let's go without being afraid. Let's rally the Jesus followers around us to live big lives for His glory. Nothing else matters. 

If nothing else is said of me, I want it to be that what was most important to me was whether others knew Jesus and how much He loves them by how much I love them. Do people know Jesus and how much He loves them by how well we love them and serve them and provide for them in our neighborhoods and ultimately when they walk in the doors of our churches one day? Let it be said of me...

I will give up anything else. Even on the days when it's hard. Even when things don't work out how I imagined or dreamed. Even when I don't get my way. I want the glory of God to reign. Forever. And, it will. So, I don't want to get in the way. So, sometimes we move on. With sad hearts. And, we must trust God, that His ways are higher and better and about His glory rather than my position or comfort or pride or preference. 

Goodbye, Lakeland Family...I have learned and grown and will move on looking to invest again. Because we cannot give up. This is what we are here to do.

 

Maybe it's Time to Wave the White Flag...

Recently a young mom in our community died unexpectedly. Several families I know have kids who were classmates with her kids. They jumped in and supported this family through everything. They brought meals. We prayed as a group for this family. In the midst of tragedy and unbearable circumstances, these families chose to stand beside and grieve with this family. When I think about how they invested, I smile and I know (I think we all know) this is exactly what the body of Christ is supposed to do: Love those who need to be loved, take care of the physical needs when they are there, and walk alongside people during the most difficult parts of their story. We are to bring hope. We are to show up over and over again.

There is so much going on that makes us want to just give up--to be hopeless with the rest of the world. Tragedy seems to be striking more often. Sometimes I think that's just part of getting older--we see more and know more and have lost more. Especially as parents, we can easily be afraid. And, believe me, I understand the desire as a parent to keep our kids close, living life with only those we can completely trust. There is a lot out there to overwhelm us.

Terror.

Election Season.

War.

Bullies.

Technology.

Sickness.

Predators.

Reason after reason to lock ourselves inside and protect ourselves.

Many days it seems like we should stand up collectively and wave the white flag. Jesus, come and get us out of here. We are done.

I understand. 

But, we are not hopeless.

Maybe we just need to raise the white flag to our security and safety and comfort and 'no one hurting my kids'. Maybe His Kingdom is worth it. Maybe all the nations singing to Him for all of eternity is worth it.

We can keep moving, unafraid because we know who God is and can trust Him. We don't have to be foolish, but we don't have to retreat, either. We don't have to run away. We don't have to hide. We have hope and hope is all most people need these days. Hope for a happy ending. Hope in the moments that seem hopeless.

So, let's be hope bearers. Let's place our families in the middle of it all. Let's pray for boldness and send our kids out in the midst of all this world is throwing our way.  Let's be confident in who our God is and what He has called us to do. Imagine the impact we can have in our communities if we live unafraid today. It might be messy. No. It will be messy. It might be scary and it will definitely be time consuming. But, it is how I want to spend my days. I want to continue to listen to the stories of those around me. I want to really hear them. And, I want to show them hope.

When we live bold lives, we get opportunity after opportunity to show others how big our God is. I mean, what's the point of us being here? Let's go out and make much of Him. And, when people ask why we aren't afraid, let's tell them about the hope we have in Jesus. We can live boldly because God sent His son. We have freedom. And, we have hope. Only because of Him.

What if we started loving the unlovable in our schools and neighborhoods? What if we started opening our homes to those who have no home? What if our homes were known as a safe place in these unsafe days? What would it look like if our families began caring for the ones everyone else wants to hate? What if our families truly saw everyone around us as someone made by God and loved by God? Would that change the way we invest in them? 

They will know hope when someone shows them Jesus. He is our hope. He offers a freedom and promise that nothing in this world can compare to. I am going to look for opportunities to share hope with those around me. 

So, what does it look like for your family to take bold steps today? Who do you need to invite into your safe spaces? What is going to change in your life so you can be a hope bearer?