will I ever wear a white shirt again?

What You are Really Looking For...

Don't be afraid to grab some coffee and a bagel, find your way to the front, and join in and high-five five each week. Lakeland's new venue at the Belfry Theatre launched this weekend, and this charming venue was full of life and people longing to know you.

Yes, you. You who have been intimidated by church will find authenticity. You who have been overwhelmed with church will find simplicity. You who have been hurt by church will find family. Because despite the distant and often disingenuous relationships our world facilitates, we all still crave a place to be known. We all still crave a place that feels like us, where they were incomplete without us. And, that is the opportunity the Belfry venue is offering some of you. 

At Lakeland, we believe being known and being in community is essential to a life of learning about and eventually choosing to follow Jesus. Many come and go from religion and church because all they have is belief--a belief in God and maybe even Jesus--but, they lack a real encounter with the saving grace of Jesus. So, as the church, we understand that giving people the space to encounter Jesus is a big deal. And, at Lakeland, we are doing that in two ways: we have created space at our primary venue by opening up more seats, and we have opened this secondary venue, a venue with a unique opportunity to engage those new to God and the church. 

As you immerse yourself at the Belfry, enjoy the friendly faces, the music, and the practical teaching, but don't let it stop there. Because, the Belfry will grow. People will engage with the life-changing message of the gospel, and they will stay. And, you will have to fight for what the Belfry feels like now. You will have to fight to keep it a family. And, you will have to join in and invite others in on a deeper level. You will need a small group to connect with in the sea of faces. So, join one now. Be known. Live this life of following Jesus with a few who love you well. 

And, as you engage in genuine community, you will wonder how you ever survived without it. And, you will want everyone to have what you have. I love that my kids will grow up knowing that being in a small group is a non-negotiable in our lives. And, I want it to be true of their lives. So, make sure you drop your kids off at Lakeland Kids (at our primary venue) on Sunday mornings or engage your students in a group during the week. If following Jesus in the context of community is so important, you don't want your kids to just watch you, but experience it for themselves. 

So, as we sang this morning, 

      I have decided to follow Jesus

      No turning back

      No turning back

Keep moving toward Him. Keep forcing yourself to engage in authentic community. Be vulnerable. It will be more than you could imagine. His church, His bride, is beautiful. Messy and beautiful. And, maybe, the Belfry is the venue that offers this for you or someone you know for the FIRST time. 

 

To learn more about Lakeland Community Church or the Belfry visit our website or follow the Belfry Facebook page to learn about these beginning days.

* to the Belfry 75, thank you. For welcoming well this morning. For thinking about the details that made me feel valued. Now. Don't stop. Don't get comfortable. Be ready for the one coming who knows nothing of Jesus! As a new venue, you have a unique (and often short) opportunity to connect those far from God with the church. People will want to see what is new and they will come to you. Keep thinking about them. Keep praying for them. You may not have come to the Belfry to make a difference in the lives of others. You may be a pioneer. You may have been looking for a change. You may actually like a smaller place. But, now that you are here, God may just want to do something through you. You have the opportunity to be someone's first impression of their Heavenly Father and His people!

 * thanks to Neil Basso for the pictures

An Open Letter to the Attenders of My Church...

Dear Friends,

I am in. I am so in. God made it very clear that the church is His plan to introduce the world to the saving grace available through a relationship with His son. For that reason, I will never give up on the Church.

This past fall, our church started an initiative for our next level of investment in our community and the world. Our pastor said something. He said something that few seem to be taking seriously. He didn't say it to get us fired up. He didn't say it so anyone would give more. He didn't say it to sound good. He said it because he believes it. 

"If everyone here makes one disciple in the next two years, we will have a problem."

I think most people focused more on the second part of the statement. People began discussing their opinions of how we were going to solve the problem. Some were even great ideas! I have had many people since that day ask me about our second venue, or service times, or a new building, or a particular ministry. And, as a pastor's wife, these are conversations that frequent our home.

But, I haven't had many tell me about who they are investing in. I haven't had many conversations with people overjoyed with the relationships they were building with those far from God. 

So, I've decided I am going to give my attention to the first part of the statement. I am going to find more and more ways to connect with those far from God. I am going to find ways to love them. I am going to find ways to serve them. I am going to find ways to be available and be a friend. And, I am going to continue to show them that my hope rests in the Creator of the world because of His Son, Jesus. 

I'm not going to do it perfectly. And, I am going to miss opportunities because sometimes I lack courage and sometimes I make excuses and sometimes I over-schedule my life. But, I am going to be intentional about listening to the Holy Spirit so that I can be aware of all the opportunities in front of me to help people discover Jesus and experience life in Him. And, I'm going to continue taking uncomfortable steps so that I can rub shoulders with people who need the hope of Jesus!

What good are the conversations about new space and new events and new small groups if we aren't willing to make disciples?

So, take it seriously. For most of us, it isn't just going to happen. We have to do it. We have to plan for it. We have to schedule it. The Church is God's Plan A for introducing people to His Son. And, if you claim Jesus as your Lord and Savior, then, you are the Church. You are Plan A.

Pastors don't become pastors because they want to build something big. They become pastors because they believe that disciples making disciples is the hope of the gospel spreading. It isn't a statement thrown out lightly but a call to join in the greatest mission of our lives, to make much of our Jesus. 

Oh how I wish more churches had big problems created by the obedience of their people making disciples! I hope we have to have serious discussions about new space, new small group leaders, and expanding everything we do. What a day of celebration that will be!

Let's go for it! Let's make building relationships and leading people to Jesus the story of our lives!

How are you planting yourself and investing yourself so that you can be a disciple who makes disciples?

Why Most People Don't Lead Small...

Sometimes you are watching something and you wonder why it isn't working. Sometimes it is one little thing. Sometimes it is several things or a big thing. Sometimes, let's be honest, it's just because it's hard, maybe it's too hard. Maybe someone has decided that it's not worth the hard work. And, I think it's why so many people don't lead small. We can talk about leading small in the context of church or in our personal lives. We can talk about creating a culture of leading small. But, first we have to know what it means to lead small.

Lead Small (v.) the act of doing for a few what you wish you could do for many

And, then we have to decide that it is important. We have to work towards it. 

To lead small, we do these five things with our few:

1. Be Present: connect their faith to a community; we show up predictably, mentally, and randomly. This happens differently in every age bracket, but it is necessary.
2. Create a Safe Place: clarify their faith as they grow; we lead the group, we respect the process  and let God do what only God can do, and we guard the heart.
3. Partnering with Parents: nurture an everyday faith; we cue the parent, honor the parent, and reinforce the family. What happens at home is more important than what happens at church.
4. Make it Personal: inspire their faith by your example; we live in community, we set priorities, and we are real--we relate to our few without compromising who we are!
5. Move Them Out: engage their faith in a bigger story; we move them to someone else, move them to be the church, and move them to what's next.

In a church setting, there are specific things that must happen across the board when we decide to lead small. I believe leading small is essential across the board, but I have spent the most time learning and working through what it looks like in the context of family ministry. So, when we lead small as a family ministry, we choose to do a few certain things well.

1. We must be organized and have a plan & we must be able to communicate it. Volunteers must know who their few are. How miserable is it to invest when you don't know who you are going to invest in. And, parents will buy into what you are doing when they know what is going on. How do you let them know who is leading their child or student? How do your small group leaders let them know they are on their side? How do you set your small group leaders up to meet parents and invest in parents, not just their kids?
2. We must set high expectations. Volunteers almost always meet the expectations you set. So, we can either set those low to "help" them, or we can call them to higher place and help them get there. Everyone will not get there at the same pace, but they will get there or they will find a better fit for their gifts. Volunteers want to know that what they are doing matters. Set the expectations high so they can accomplish something great!
3. We must be intentional about partnering with parents. We must make parents feel valuable when they walk into our space. The only way we are going to convince parents that what happens at home is more important than what happens at church is by equipping them to win at home. We can choose to come alongside them and encourage them, resource them, and invest in them, or we can just hope they figure it out.

There are choices we have to make along the way for a culture of leading small to be developed in a church.

Mostly, we have to be all in. You have to have everyone on the same page. When you have an adult small group leader who doesn't get their kids involved in a small group, you begin to wonder if they are all in. Do they really understand what it means to lead small? Do they really see the value of a small group of people? Do the people in your church really believe that what happens at home is more important than what happens at church? Does everything you do point to small groups and joining into community? 

You have to constantly talk about life in the context of small groups so that everyone eventually gets it. You have to talk about small group leaders. You have to talk about the importance of consistency. You have to talk about vulnerability. You have to be all in. The churches that lead small the best are doing it from infants to adults--no one is confused about where they should be investing themselves. There are no other distractions. People understand they will feel most valued and be most cared for in the context of a small group. No one gets lost when everyone is leading small. It is a process, and you must be intentional about creating the culture. But. Once you see it and experience, it is difficult to settle for anything less. Even if it is hard to do. It is worth fighting for.

“Part of the success of every program should be linked to how well it elevates the idea of finding authentic community.” ~ Reggie Joiner, Creating a Lead Small Culture

What I'm Reading...

In no particular order, here is what I am planning to read in 2014. Have you read any of these?

The New Testament
English Standard Version

Be Rich
Andy Stanley

Follow Me
David Platt

The Jesus Hearted Woman
Jodi Detrich

Restless
Jennie Allen

True Community
Jerry Bridges

Praying Circles Around Your Children
Mark Batterson

You Can Still wear Cute Shoes
Lisa McKay

The Beloved Disciple
Beth Moore

Winston’s War: A Novel of Conspiracy
Michael Dobbs

Scared
Tom Davis

Outliers
Malcolm Gladwell

Chaperone: Friend or Foe?

This post is dedicated to those who have invested in me through the years--those who were more than chaperones, but who over time showed me how much God loves me!

Chaperone: Someone who accompanies and supervises a group, especially of young people, usually when in public places

Small Group Leader: Anyone who chooses to invest in the lives of a few to encourage authentic faith

Which one do you want on a trip with your preteen? Which one do you want talking to your teenager about which college to choose? Which one do you want sitting with your child on a four hour bus ride to camp?

I am not saying that some chaperones cannot have significant influence in the life of a child, but I am saying that they are not usually given that responsibility. And, why are they not given that responsibility? It is because it takes time to encourage authentic faith.

As talked about in the book Playing for Keeps, it takes time, stories, love, fun, tribes, and words over time to influence a child. You cannot force a child to develop authentic faith. A weekend retreat standing alone or a moving worship service usually don't lead to a healthy, sustainable, and authentic faith. But, when you introduce a small group leader to those same retreats, worship services, conversations, and bus rides, you are changing things up. You are providing consistency and presence that you don't always get in a chaperone. You are providing a place for connection. You are creating a history that can ultimately show a child that they matter to God!

I think 1 Thessalonians 2:8 sums up a small group leader well:
"So we care for you. Because we loved you so much, we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well."

Wow! Did you get that? They didn't share a fleeting moment or a story or an experience. They didn't just go on a fun trip. They didn't just make sure the kids didn't get lost or hurt. They shared their lives. That is an over and over kind of sharing. That sounds like the community God had in mind when He designed His church!

Chaperones should be reserved for school dances and field trips, not for experiences that could define the faith of my child!

So, what does this mean for you?

1. Are your kids in a small group? At Lakeland, small groups start when a child is 4 weeks old. They begin to look more and more like community the older a child gets. Your child's leader is there every week. Are you?

2. Are you being intentional about allowing other people to invest in your children? Do you know who is investing in your child?

3. Who do you need to be investing in over time? What relationships do you need to commit to so that you can have a lasting impact in their faith story?

4. If you are in a church leadership position are you being strategic about how people invest in people at your church or does it simply happen by accident? Is it something someone commits to or something someone signs up for every once in awhile?

My Reading List...

I am so excited about my current reading list. God is challenging me. He is equipping me. He is holding me accountable to act on the truth He is teaching me. I am so thankful for the courageous followers of Jesus who share their hearts & encourage mine!

Anything: The Prayer That Unlocked My God and My Soul by Jennie Allen

Safe. Comfortable. Happy.

Words we all love. Feelings we want. Even crave. We may love God, but being that he's invisible, words like comfortable seem to feel better faster.

We are all chasing something. Our hearts were made to run hard and fast after things that move us. But as a generation we are all beginning to stir and wake up, identifying that these words don't satisfy for long, especially when compared to God. If God is real, and we are going to live with Him forever, shouldn't He be everything?

Caught in this familiar haze of worldly happiness and empty pursuits, Jennie Allen and her husband Zac prayed a courageous prayer of abandonment that took them on an adventure God had written for them.

"God, we will do anything. Anything,"

Anything is a prayer of surrender that will spark something. A prayer that will move us to stop chasing things that just make us feel happy and start living a life that matters. A life that is...

Surrendered. Reckless. Courageous.

If we truly know a God worth giving anything for, everything changes.

Barefoot Church: Serving the Least in a Consumer Culture by Brandon Hatmaker

People are hungry to make a difference in their community, yet most don't know where to start. In fact, 'serving the least' is often one of the most neglected biblical mandates in the church. Barefoot Church shows readers how today's church can be a catalyst for individual, collective, and social renewal in any context. Whether pastors or laypeople, readers will discover practical ideas that end up being as much about the Gospel and personal transformation as they are about serving the poor. Here they will see how the organizational structure of the church can be created or redesigned for mission in any context. Drawing from his own journey, Brandon Hatmaker proves to readers that serving the least is not a trendy act of benevolence but a lifestyle of authentic community and spiritual transformation. As Hatmaker writes, 'My hope is that God would open our eyes more and more to the needs of our community. And that we would see it as the church's responsibility to lead the charge.'

Follow Me: A Call to Die. A Call to Live. by David Platt

What did Jesus really mean when he said, “Follow Me”?

In this new book, David Platt, author of the New York Times bestselling book, Radical: Taking Back Your Faith from the American Dream, contends that multitudes of people around the world culturally think they are Christians yet biblically are not followers of Christ.

Scores of men, women, and children have been told that becoming a follower of Jesus simply involves believing certain truths or saying certain words. As a result, churches today are filled with people who believe they are Christians . . . but aren’t. We want to be disciples as long as doing so does not intrude on our lifestyles, our preferences, our comforts, and even our religion.

Revealing a biblical picture of what it means to truly be a Christian, Follow Me explores the gravity of what we must forsake in this world, as well as the indescribable joy and deep satisfaction to be found when we live for Christ.

The call to follow Jesus is not simply an invitation to pray a prayer; it’s a summons to lose your life—and to find new life in him. This book will show you what such life actually looks like.

5 Points: Towards a Deeper Experience of God's Grace by John Piper

Grace is the heart of God to do you good when you deserve it least.
But do we really know how deeply we don't deserve it? Only God can reveal that to us. He does it through the Bible. And when he does, the wonders of his grace explode with brightness as never before.
These Five Points are about how Christians come into being, and how we are kept forever.
It reaches back into times past when we were freely chosen.
It reaches forward into the future when we will be safe and happy forever.
It reaches down into the mysteries of the work of Christ, purchasing the gift of faith for all God's children.
And it reaches into the human soul, glimpsing the mysteries of the Spirit's work as he conquers all our rebellion and makes us willing captives of King Jesus.

Playing for Keeps / Losing Your Marbles by Reggie Joiner, Kristen Ivy, Elizabeth Hansen

After 25 years of working in Family Ministry, we’ve learned there are some things adults just can't do for kids. You can't force a toddler to love broccoli. You can't make a teenager "not date him." And you can't make a kid love God. Can you? At some point it just starts to break down.

That's why we wrote Playing for Keeps. It’s a book for parents and leaders (and anyone else who influences the lives of kids and teenagers) about six things you can give a kid over time that will make a significant impact. These six things can help give a kid the kind of history that will show them why they matter to God.

But Playing for Keeps is really two books in one. On the flipside is a short story called Losing Your Marbles that makes these six ideas come to life.

Playing for Keeps/Losing your Marbles is a book for anybody who interacts with a kid or teenager every week--from a parent to a coach to Small Group Leader. Anybody. Playing for Keeps explores six things every kid needs over time, and provides 18 practical ideas for anybody who wants to make what really matters matter more.

Do For the One: Part 3

I can honestly say that I cannot even begin to name all of the people who have followed Andy Stanley's principle with me getting to be the recipient!

"Do for the one what you wish you could do for everyone." -- They may not have learned it from him, but so many people have blessed me & have blessed my family even when they couldn't help everyone.

Some people have served our family with their time. We have lived far from family most of our marriage. People have given us a night out while they watch our kids. Some have done it one time & others have done it regularly.

Some people have served our family with gifts & financial support. We have been in tough spots before & received a check from known and sometimes unknown sources. The timing has always been perfect to meet a need! People have thought of us and given us a meal even when we didn't "need" it, but because they wanted to give a little love to our family.

Buck & I have learned a lot from all of these people. And, we are becoming more intentional about looking for these opportunities in our life. There is always someone around us who could use a little or big blessing.

So, here is the "Do for the One" question today:
Who do you need to bless today with the resources you have?

Ask God to direct you to the needs He wants to use you to meet. Pick one today. Show someone that God hasn't forgotten about them. Encourage someone. Relieve some stress for someone. And then, as you go on your way, listen and watch. God will bring needs to your attention! Then Act!

We all have resources to share. God has given us so much. He wants us to give freely!

Do for the One: Part 2

So, as I said in the last post, Andy Stanley said one phrase and literally changed so much about my life: "Do for the one what you wish you could do for everyone."

There are so many areas of our life we can implement this way of thinking and expand our influence.

So, here is the "Do for the One" question today:
"Who do you need to call and invite out for coffee or lunch?"

This one can be tough for so many of us. Our financial resources may be limited. Our time may be limited. If you are a student small group leader, you may have 8-12 students you are caring for. And, you might think it isn't fair to just take one or two out for coffee and chat. Well, when you begin to think about "doing for the one" you have to throw fair out the window. It isn't fair. It's not going to be fair. But, failing to invest in the one because I cannot invest in all is not good for anyone. Who do you connect with most? Who is in a tough place right now? Who could use some encouragement?

So, today, think about that young mom who would love a break from her kids over a cup of coffee. Think about that student who is getting ready to leave for college & needs to know you want to have a voice in his/her life. Think about that college student who is far from home. Think about that kid in your small group who's parents are going through tough times. Think about that leader on your team that needs to step up to the next level of leadership. Choose one. Just one. Call them. Today.

Do For the One: Part 1

Andy Stanley said one phrase and literally changed so much about my life: "Do for the one what you wish you could do for everyone." Sometimes we fail to act because we cannot do for everyone! This way of thinking ultimately leads to losing influence. Once we realize we cannot do for everyone, we have two choices: Do for no one (give up essentially) or do for the one! You never know when that one thing could change the course of that one's life!

Ever since I have started doing for the one, I feel like my influence has grown, my relationships are healthier, and the guilt inside of me has lessened.

So, here is the "Do for the One" question today:
"Which one person/couple can you invite into community this week?"

Your small group is small for a reason. I cannot invite everyone in my church to my small group. But, I can invite a couple to join us (that's how we started!) and then when we add a few more couples we can start a new SMALL group! So, I can invite ONE person/couple into community. I can let them experience what doing life with a group of people is all about! I can keep that one from getting lost in the shuffle of busy Sunday mornings!

Learning to Say YES & NO!

Tatum is finally starting to talk more--it seems like it has taken forever. Two words she has said for awhile are "Yes" and "No". We learn those pretty early on, but not many of us master the proper use of those words. Sometimes when she is upset, you can ask her if she wants certain things, and her first response is always "no!". Then at some point, she realizes that she meant to say yes to one of those choices like a snack or dad holding her.

As adults, we often have a first response too. Except, it is often "YES!". Some of us are people pleasers. Some of us aren't sure what we want--we just want to try it all. Some of us don't have boundaries. And, then we are stuck. We are stuck in relationships we shouldn't be in. We are stuck in debt. We are stuck with no time to recharge. And, when I am stuck I end up being no good. Then I am not actually able to do what I should be doing.
And, we can get stuck just about anywhere if we don't have a plan.

So, I am learning that one of the most important decisions I can make is deciding ahead of time what I am going to say "yes" to and what I am going to say "no" to.

For example, we have a plan for who we want to give our financial resources to. We give to our local church first. Then we have friends serving all over the world who are sharing the love of Jesus. We want to give to them. Then we have our two girls adopted through World Vision. Two of the three come straight out of our checking account. We have already decided that will be a continuous "YES!" for us. Then we sit down and decide where the needs are with people we know & where our extra "giving" money will go that month. Now for the tough part. The "NO". I have had so many people approach me about giving to them, their organization, or something they are passionate about. It's not that I like saying no to them, it' s just that my plan makes it easy to say no. We pray and then plan where to spend our money. There are occasional opportunities that pop up that we give to, but if we don't, we feel like we are being obedient to the areas God has called us to give.

We do the same things with our time. Joining another Bible study is not a good "yes" all the time. Letting your kids do another activity is not always good. Serving in another area or volunteering at another organization is not always good.

We must spend time praying & determining who God is calling us to be, where He is calling us to be, and how He wants us to use the resources He has given us.

What is He calling me to invest my life in?
What do I value?
What is most important?
What opportunities do I have that line up with these predetermined priorities?
Where are the resources I have going to be most beneficial?

Now look at your calendar & your checking account....do they match up with your answers above?

When you learn to say YES to the right things and NO to the wrong things (even good things), God can really begin to do some amazing things in and around you! He gives you a peace. And He gives you the freedom to truly thrive in those areas you are called to!